solving the mystery

Here I am again, wanting to become more responsible...

I am here to meet my groupmates in Educ 100 to work on our report outline due Monday. But unfortunately, no one's here. Well, I admit I woke up late this morning. But i texted Jo earlier to ask if we can move the meeting to 11am instead of 10. I got no reply from her. I also tried to call her but her phone was unattended. I don't know if she intended to turn her phone off so I won't be able to contact her? (hey lao! you're being judgmental again...)

Anyway, to make this time worthy, I'll just reflect on myself --what is my present position? where am I right now? and what do I want to do with my life?

Classes had long been started. Yet, I don't feel like I'm already in the system. I feel so irresponsible -- for sleeping up to 9 hours, for not going to the library on Wednesdays and Saturdays, even if I know that I have so much to read, for keeping myself silent in class, for choosing to keep my ideas on my own trying to just be passive (honestly, I don't like the feeling it gives me), for not finishing my requirements at least 2 days ahead of the deadline, and for just being so apathetic.

I've been escaping life's challenges for quite a long time now. And I know that it's not giving me any good. The more I try to drift away from reality, the more I find myself being drawn into the center of it. I'm tired. And I feel so emotionally and spiritually drained for trying to ignore everything. It's time to face the world, to move forward, and win this battle. Yes, I will win this battle. It may sound so " mayabang" but I have this confidence deep inside me to say this because I know I'm on the right track -- I just have to do my part.

SELF-DISCIPLINE -- it's one thing I miss. I miss the great feeling discipline brings to me everytime I follow it. I miss the sense of organization in my life.

RESPONSIBILITY comes next. It gives me the energy to wake up each morning with a purpose in mind for the day, and peace during the night knowing that I was able use my day to fulfill the purpose I earlier had in mind. And the cycle goes on -- as long as God allows me to have another day.

Now, I decide to embrace self-discipline and responsibility once again.

(I want to write more but i need to go to Greenhills now... By the way, Jo texted me trying to give me reasons for her not being able to come... I still believe in the saying that "A LAZY MAN IS FULL OF EXCUSES!)